The two year journey-lessons from Habakkuk

First I apologize for this post being a few days late.  It actually worked out perfect though because today is my two year anniversary of starting Weight Watchers.  Two years ago, I had had enough of feeling rotten.  I was not happy with the way I looked and assumed that going to WW would help improve my self confidence and make me look hot. Little did I know that the next two years would be about so much more than my appearance.  

 

It seems so foolish to me that the reason I started WW was to "look better."  I have learned so much more in these two years that "looking good" is near the end of my list of reasons why I'm still a member of WW.  Weight watchers has taught me a lot about eating healthy and exercising, but I really needed to look inside myself and look to God for the real answers as to why I was overweight.  Like I said in the previous post, I am addicted to food, or addicted to eating.  Food is not the enemy, my enemy-the devil- just knows that food is an easy temptation for me.  But over the past two years with lots of prayers, Bible studies, friends, triumphs and bumps, I am right on the edge of overcoming.  I am a few pounds from my goal, which is fantastic, but is not my final goal.  My non-scale goal is to be able to use food for what God made it for, not when I'm needing something other than nourishment.

I talked before that I was getting depressed that this journey has taken so long.  I even calculated how much money we have spent on WW from my monthly dues.  Let me tell you, it was enough to make me mad.  A beautiful fellow WW has lost 80lbs in one year and was talking about how she was mad that it had taken so long.  I held my tongue but inside I was raging.  I was mad at God for letting it take so long.  Two years was enough!  If anything I just want to be able to have my $40 a month going toward something else...

Then while doing my devotions one morning I came across this passage from Habakkuk.  Yes Habakkuk!  I've been reading The Purpose Driven Life and the title for that day was, "There are no shortcuts to maturity." Thanks God, just what I wanted to read.  But I kept reading and here is what I read from the tiny book of Habakkuk.  "These things I plan won't happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient.  They will not be overdue a single day!" Habakkuk 2:3

Don't you love it when God throws a verse like that at you.  Right when I was mad at God, he gave me this beautiful verse.  It made me cry, and still gets to me how he timed that.  My Father put me in his lap and reassured me that my success would not be overdue.  I will be successful, and I can't do it without God.

So, here I sit, my goal in clear view, waiting patiently for God to get me there.  Waiting...not just sitting around, as we are reminded many times in Scripture, but I have hope and can't wait to see how God will use this two year journey to impact others.  Thanks for all who have encouraged me so far!  I truly cherish every thought!

A new identity: Hello, my name is Tiffany and I'm addicted to food

Putting all jokes aside, this really has become my new identity.  Many many factors have led me to see that I have an addiction as serious as alcoholism or gambling.  The "problem" was that my addiction is one that is socially acceptable, totally misunderstood, and hard to diagnose.  Who knew that 5 years ago when we joined Evergreen Ministries, that I would gain as much from the recovery aspect as I have and am still gaining?  I am an addict, and I can now freely admit it.  Admitting I have a problem is the first step, right?  Granted I am not going through the 12 steps yet, but that may be something that I do in the future to help me understand more of how to give God control.  Right now, I am feeling confident that I have a handle on my addiction.


How do I know I am addicted? Here is the definition from merriam-webster.com of addiction-
 compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal;broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.


Having a food addiction is tricky because I am addicted to something I need to have to survive.  Granted, the foods that I have problems with are things that were making me sick, not nourishing me.  Things like candy bars (I would buy one every time I checked out at the store), fast food (any time I had extra cash in my purse I ran through the drive thru), and packaged snacks (many times I have eaten a whole package of cookies).  I had to learn that food is for nourishment.  Let me say that again.  I HAD TO LEARN THAT FOOD IS FOR NOURISHMENT.  Food is not for a stress reliever. Food is not for celebrating.  Food is not for comfort.  Food is not an entertainer when I am bored.  I was compulsive with my eating and out of control.  


The end of the definition gets to me..."of a substance known by the user to be harmful."  The problem for me and for many others struggling with weight is we don't get it!  We don't get how harmful food can be.  It's food, for crying out loud!  But by taking these things out of my life, I realize now how much better I feel, and more importantly, how horrible I feel when I do eat those things that are not beneficial to me.  Not just physically ill, but also mentally and spiritually.  The physical part has only recently started affecting me, since I have only recently become aware that I can't even have certain foods occasionally.  I get physically ill and lethargic when I eat too much "junk". That tells me that I have only just begun conquering this addiction.  


This all leads to my next post, which I will save for tomorrow because it's a long one.  But I'll give you a snippet of it.  This weekend marks my 2 year "anniversary" of starting Weight Watchers.  A couple of weeks ago I was very depressed that it has taken me this long to get to where I want to be physically.  But I have had some revelations in the past few weeks that have shown me why it has taken me so long.  Stay tuned for tomorrow!

new specs!

I just got my new glasses in the mail!  I love them, all three pairs! And the best part is that I paid only $32.80 for all three pairs.  What?  Yes it's true, check out www.zennioptical.com.  I owe thanks to Lori Schrader for letting me in on this great website!  Brian has had two pairs from them and loves them.  All you need is your prescription from your doctor and the fun begins.  I uploaded a picture of myself to "try on" the glasses before I bought them and I think I did great.  Here's what they look like!

An ode to Sally Jesse...a little more modern though!

This is my favorite pair!

Oh yeah, I got sunglasses too!  With cute little bows!